Everyone is asking me...

Everyone is asking me: What is love, why does it feel so different, so unique, not like all the other feelings we have…

What would you say if anyone asks you this question?

We all know that love can be uncontrolled, that you never know when it appears or when it might disappear. Maybe it doesn’t even disappear, and always exists or stays in past, future,… Some people call it past, but some call it Life. And if it is love forever, than it is not a feeling, but love without calling it with any name.
I’m still writing and didn’t answer the question that some people ask me. May be I know Love and love knows me – but only in secret,
Can you tell me if you can feel love and understand it? Even if you do would you be able to describe it in words? You don’t know right?

People write stories to make themselves feel love, which might be existing already. May be this is the way. To write everything we can, about it -In Words-
And after we can build up the real sense of love.
To be more correct the sense will appear by itself –

Every answer seems right until you try to write it…

L*** my only love

L*** (my only love)

(Whenever I believed in you with all my mind, soul, heart you became real, I could love you, but in times when I forgot about your reality, you became a painful and unwilling dream.)


I am walking trough the Love streets, I feel the smell of your appearance…somewhere very close, but can’t realize it.
It was a hot summer afternoon, I was thirsty, needed to drink something, tea or coffee, I stopped in front of the café and thought about you, I wondered what did you feel at that moment, how did you look like.
But I passed by, I wanted to find you. I was walking the whole day and evening, finally I felt some silly feeling of nothing, I thought I just…. everything about you.
I thought you were just one small part of my illusions, I thought I would never hear your voice, touch your dreams. I was too tired to feel myself real.


Days passed, like they used to, I had to do my work, I did, met a lot of friends, I tried to have fun, but couldn't’t , I had a feeling of loosing something, of forgetting something very special, very close, somewhere very near. But I couldn't’t think; whenever I tried it was disappearing.
One day I met him, he seemed to be handsome and gentle, I was in love, didn’t want to think about you, I thought you were a painful, unrealized dream, I was afraid of your reality.
I believed he was the one, I believed he was you, but you were not him. I thought we had fun I thought I loved. But I knew I always needed something more, I always wished something more: Something that you had, something that you were. May be I realized it not in time, or just in a right moment.


Summer again, Party at my friends’ house. I was drinking there, laughing, dancing, and sitting alone in the corner, I was sad, because I was waiting for nothing. 3 days before I said goodbye to my lover, and was a bit lost, but suddenly I felt something very close, something that was forgotten many times before, somewhere deep inside my heart, I felt the smell of your appearance, this time I followed you through my reality, through my dreams, as I felt it was the end of all those beginnings, called love.

Katalina
Katerina Backradze