L*** my only love

L*** (my only love)

(Whenever I believed in you with all my mind, soul, heart you became real, I could love you, but in times when I forgot about your reality, you became a painful and unwilling dream.)


I am walking trough the Love streets, I feel the smell of your appearance…somewhere very close, but can’t realize it.
It was a hot summer afternoon, I was thirsty, needed to drink something, tea or coffee, I stopped in front of the café and thought about you, I wondered what did you feel at that moment, how did you look like.
But I passed by, I wanted to find you. I was walking the whole day and evening, finally I felt some silly feeling of nothing, I thought I just…. everything about you.
I thought you were just one small part of my illusions, I thought I would never hear your voice, touch your dreams. I was too tired to feel myself real.


Days passed, like they used to, I had to do my work, I did, met a lot of friends, I tried to have fun, but couldn't’t , I had a feeling of loosing something, of forgetting something very special, very close, somewhere very near. But I couldn't’t think; whenever I tried it was disappearing.
One day I met him, he seemed to be handsome and gentle, I was in love, didn’t want to think about you, I thought you were a painful, unrealized dream, I was afraid of your reality.
I believed he was the one, I believed he was you, but you were not him. I thought we had fun I thought I loved. But I knew I always needed something more, I always wished something more: Something that you had, something that you were. May be I realized it not in time, or just in a right moment.


Summer again, Party at my friends’ house. I was drinking there, laughing, dancing, and sitting alone in the corner, I was sad, because I was waiting for nothing. 3 days before I said goodbye to my lover, and was a bit lost, but suddenly I felt something very close, something that was forgotten many times before, somewhere deep inside my heart, I felt the smell of your appearance, this time I followed you through my reality, through my dreams, as I felt it was the end of all those beginnings, called love.

Katalina
Katerina Backradze